and you're keepin secrets on your pillow

My room. Its where I am at my most vulnerable.

Although I share it, I spend most of my time up there recently.

We havent been talking for days. Our conversations are always just the usual ones.

Of all people, dad noticed me being this way. Daddy.

He came up to me after dinner. Just sat there where I was. He knew I knew.

It was good enough.

Im trying to pick up the pieces. Im trying to gain back your trust. Because for some reason, I see it in your eyes, that I've lost your trust. You're always checking up on me now. It upsets me how you cant trust me as much anymore. I'd cry thinking about it. I have been crying thinking about it.

It seems to me, everytime I try, you only see the mistakes I make in trying to make things better.

I know whats ahead of me next year. I know. But all this pressure building up on me isnt helping me at all. You know I cant deal with too much pressure. You know what it did to me last year.

I understand why you have to tell me. I do. I know its important. The thing is, I never really knew how fragile I am.