Im tired. I dont know why. For the past few days I've been like this. I sleep late. Wake up with nightmares and because of that? I wouldnt be able to go back to sleep until maybe around 9am close to 10am. Then wake up again around noon for brunch. I'll tell myself 'lets do something productive today' and obviously I wont. All I hear is complaints about me being the way I am now. Then I'd make up my own reasons to defend myself. LOL. But then since yesterday, I found no reason to say anything. Literally, I've been quiet. Just too quiet. I'd play the piano when I feel like shit? But now everytime I touch the keys, I get all irritated. I dont know why. Then I'll play halfway and storm off. I finally finished reading a book today. Finally. Then I thought to myself again. Thinking about the times where I used think too much. I stopped for awhile. But its starting to build up again. I remember wanting to tell somebody about something. Then I gave up, cause that negative thought came back on. I've all this pressure on me about this and that and this and that. Okayh you'd probably think 'what pressure do you have la? you're just 16, dont push yourself too much' The thing is, yeah I am 16 but being the person I am, I am like this. No point in explaining what kind of person I am anyways. Hmm then I got myself thinking again. What am I to the people I love? (I mean everyone). Not that its anyone's fault on anything , its just that I always have that negative part of me. All my life, I've known to be pretty pessimistic. You know sometimes, when you're being there for someone in need? And they tell you, you dont understand? Yeah I may not understand what you're going through, I mean I do, but not in the way you see it. Cause then every individual has got their own mindset. But this I understand, life's not all about you. There are people everywhere in the world thats got life worse then yours. So appreciate it. But now I feel like a hypocrite, because Im complaining about mine right?
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