Let this go

So much for doing my homework. Well I did at first, but then I felt so shitty. So I wasnt thinking straight I suppose. Mom took one good look at me. Something's wrong with you dear. Then I told 'Mommy, I want to pray'. She knew something was really wrong with me. Lol Trust me, I am not holy but when times are rough, yes I do go to Jesus for help and guidance. Being the Fran I am, I was never good at controlling my emotions really.
and so we prayed for awhile. Mom next to me.
Then we talked. About problems,life, love and God. She really did opened my eyes on a lot of things. 'Fran, Im glad you said you wanted to pray' :') Mom grew up with the nuns. Practically explains how shes like on thing la. But Im glad though. We talked and talked. I look at the time. Lol screw it if I dont finish anything. At least Im at peace. You know, believing in something worth more than you are is really something unimaginable. I cant explain it. But believing has kept me sane. Really. Im such a small girl, lol but a lot of things can run through my mind at once. Its pretty dangerous, because a lot can happen.
Believe me, there were times, I wanted to do things. But hey, I am where I am right? He's got my back. He's got everyone elses. He is always there. You know sometimes when I get into convos about why people do such things in life. By ending it just like that? Hmm I dont think anyone understands how my mind really works? But damn I get why people do it. LOL dont get me wrong, I wont do anything like that. In a way, I get it. But then again why do it right? I mean you only live life once. So whatever happens, forget it and make things better for yourself. I mean nothing is worth ending your LIFE. My perspective, its either you understand a little bit of what Im trying to say or you'll go the total opposite of what Im trying to say. Get it?
Hmmph this night is bittersweet.
Again, Im little but weyy my minds thinking too much.