you know.

Here's a post about my two weeks of holidays. Well it started off with that Saturday in church procession. Then class on Sunday. Time Square. Then well everything died off. I got sick in between. Stoned at home. Everyone, was so busy that it was only me and Florence at home alone on most of the days. Studied? Dont get me started on that. Penang on the weekends. Still sick so it wasnt much for me but paintball was great. I've been paintball-ing since I was 13 and never in my life had I done that in a PARKING LOT. That's right, Penang and it had the best battle arena I have ever set my eyes on. They provide full suits too. One day, I have gotta bring my friends there. We'd have a blast. After the weekends. Again. Stone at home. What did I do? Wake up. Piano. TV. Music. Eat. Sleep at 6am and back all over again the next day. Really I was so bored I didnt even want to do anything. Planned some stuff out but it didnt happen. I'll admit it, I was pissed. Anyways things work out unexpected. I receive a text from Rach about Friday. Really unexpected. So I thought hey, I have nothing to do, why not. It great day it was. Well I'd say SPONTANEOUS. We walked from Tesco all the way to Jusco. Bought whatever we needed. We even watched POTC. Well luckily enough he was there too. Saw Dyy and Judy.I really wished I could have seen Sofea during the holidays. I didnt get to see her at all :(

Well Saturday's plan which was today, was just bbq-ing at Sean's for Father's Day. Just so happens Felicia said she decided to go to Tess's after the dinner. Tess asked to tag along. Though I didnt think I should? Idk it was more of Felicia's thing. Felt like I was intruding her space? But well she said I should go since Ely's there. And well maybe I'd go there just for another side reason? :)

Well, I went anyways. #truthbetold Im really glad I came.

It wasnt much but hey, you know, I know.

Tonight was interestingly funny though. If I could ha

ve seen your experessions on how frustrated you were trying to figure out who your mystery person is? Haaah I'd have a good laugh about it. So tomorrow's Sunday. Honestly, my last day of proper freedom. even just for a little while, while Im at Jusco.

That day went we went out to Time Square. Before mom dropped me off exactly on that morning. She finally told me. Fran this is your last hangout. I was actually waiting for The day where she would finally put down her point and tell me straight. Because I know her. She's the kind of mom thats always the inbetween of things. She lets me go freely but she knows how to pull me back in to control me. So yeah I was waiting for that spe

cific day when she would tell me to STOP. I get it and I respect her decisions. So probably on that day, I was spacing out, well that was because I realized like hey, my so called 'last day' of oh yah sure lets hang out my mom wont mind me going out kindof thing. Well that day turned out fine.

Again last night she said I know you love 30 Seconds To Mars fran? But you cant. You cant keep doing this. Plus I promised dad.

I havent been entirely honest to myself. I still cant grasp the fact that Im sittin for fuggin SPM. Its not like my life depends on it. Really. I just gotta do good enough to score enough so I could enter a proper college that'll help me score a good job in the future. Hey you still gotta score something to take on a subject thats good. Its not just money ya know. You actually have to have the qualities and capabilities. A very fine example. HIM. He's a rich ass boy who's got his parents throwing money at him whenever he wants it. He's got MONEY. But he's hasnt been doing well in college at all. He's already spent 2 years+ in college when he could have spend a year and head of to the USA just because his dad got him money to pay for whatever he needs. But his grades for his assignments werent good enough, he's staying here for another idk how long.

Anyways, I've been going out, having fun while most ppl I

know are staying home and studying -.-' I go out because I dont want to spend my time thinking about studies. Stressful really. Coming from a girl where her mom's a respectable teacher.

But I owe it to mommy really. Her especially. She doesnt show it but I know I let her down bigtime. Wont it be great just to see her finally smiling so happily when she sees me with results that'll make her absolutely proud of me? I'd like to see that. I'd like to see her smile while Im smilling back at her too.

Here it goes towards the starting of the second semester. Till after SPM. Right then, I would spend most of my time treasuring everything I have before everyone leaves. Before you leave.

#knowingyouwouldreadthis

Usually I'd smile away with that song.

Tonight, it was the first time I cried listening to yellow.

We dont have much time anymore do we?