Right, so I havent been home in a while and even if I was, and that would mean, the weekend.

I wouldnt be home anyways. Does that even make any sense?

Just a thought.

I know how much this is draining me. I do. What's even more tiring is how Im trying to control it. Constant struggle every fucking day man.

But maybe, I just dont have enough of rest. Maybe thats just it.

Maybe its all just in my head. I know it is. Right?

You see what Im doing there?

Im playing mind games with myself and I've gotten so used to it, I cant stop doing it.

She wants me to stay in for a night and what? Waste more money and time on this?

Told mom not to tell the rest about my further checkups.

LOL I am so full of crap right now and this is depressing.

Oh well.