Every event holds elements of both good and bad, and the true implications of the event may not be truly known for many years. Life will throw so many things at us and it is our job to steadily steer through all of it to live our lives doing what we need to do. Take the good with the bad. Even bad things happen for a good reason.

Right, so I havent been home in a while and even if I was, and that would mean, the weekend.

I wouldnt be home anyways. Does that even make any sense?

Just a thought.

I know how much this is draining me. I do. What's even more tiring is how Im trying to control it. Constant struggle every fucking day man.

But maybe, I just dont have enough of rest. Maybe thats just it.

Maybe its all just in my head. I know it is. Right?

You see what Im doing there?

Im playing mind games with myself and I've gotten so used to it, I cant stop doing it.

She wants me to stay in for a night and what? Waste more money and time on this?

Told mom not to tell the rest about my further checkups.

LOL I am so full of crap right now and this is depressing.

Oh well.

Earlier today, I thought of this day, last year.

I know what I remembered and I'll always keep that in mind.

It was the first time I've ever spent such a day with a guy.

A whole day with you on Valentines was more than I could ask for.

and it was great. It was.

I wouldnt want to think about the future or whatever's ahead of us in this new

coming part of our lives, soon.

But right now, I'd like to stay here.

At least in the moment. In every good day ahead I will have with you.

Happy Valentines Day, love.

Okayh so here's a little story about this girl.

First time I met her, we were 9 years old.

SK Panchor but since our school wasnt ready, we tumpang'ed at SK Paroi.

At the time, I already had well.. I suppose a gang of friends la. The girls and the guys.

3Jaguh. That was the class.

Usual, new school, not many kids, needed prefects. So yeah I was one when at std3.

Halfway through out the year, some new girl came in.

We were like who the hell is that girl. All to herself and back then, I was pretty much a shallow minded kid too. Lol why that girl so sombong :0 Hahaha She seemed like a smartass kid too.

ohh she was. HAHAHHA. Well it was how things were back then overthere.

I guess she and I grew attached to each other.

Long story cut short. We're still like this till this very day.

Just saw her a few minutes ago.

She's still on top of her game man.

She's going to be a someone someday. That, I've always thought so.

Khilda Farhanah.

I had a talk with myself days ago and made it a point to do whatever it takes. For everyone's sake. So far, I guess its all good. For me at least and some people just give up so easily just like that huh. Im trying to help make adjustments around. What about them? Just like that? You do know you're affecting us all right. Do what you want while I try to pick up the pieces you left broken. Give her some time. I am.

ANYWAYS.

Sunday.

Good day I'd say. Early morning in church. Siblings. Them friends. You.

Then again, spent some time with the littlest one around town first then lol her books.

Met Ms Ma just for a bit and its so good to see her happy and healthy.

Ms Ang's pregnant now. Those days when I'd go for classes with her all she ever talked about was her boyfriend, now husband. Happy for her. Lol I must see her kid one day.

Ms Siow. Ms Ma. Ms Hui. Ms Ang then back to Ms Ma.

Ms Ma was the closest to me. When she left overseas that year. I still remember crying with her.

I do miss that place.

Evening jog. This time Felicia decided to tag along. Slow kid hahah.

Had my time with the swing at the playground too. Lol

Dinner at Oakland with the whole fam.

Went over to Jeff's.

Gambled and won 70 bucks. Okay whaaaat :p

Skyped with Sean for a bit. Uncle Ong's for the weekend now huh.

I honestly was speechless at first. Nothing but tears. Stupid fella trying to act macho as usual but

I know you're just trying to hold it in bro. I miss you too.

Havent seen him face to face since he left. All we did was just a few calls here and there.

Then again he's been so busy lately but Just now was great.

DAY, WELL SPENT.

Felicia found me this :)