things I do.

You know sometimes when you're just feeling upset and you dont know what to do?? Well I've been feeling upset a lot lately. Sometimes Im so upset I dont even remember why Im so upset.
#keep them in here and it makes no sense at all#
You know if I had a wish, I'd wish that I could spent a day during my childhood time. I was so happy and carefree. Nothing in the world would bother me. Now, I just get mad at little things I think. I know its no good being all *panas baran* but I just cant help it. I know I've those along in the way. Im sorry. I see it when I go all upset then I see your faces and then you're all upset. Im sorry. You know sometimes you just wanna say sorry but you dont have the guts to??? Happens to me all the time. Im always happy first thing in the morning. Then before bedtime I'll just :'( thinking about my life. I mean Im not complaining it sucks. It doesnt. How can it??? The people I've known to love and share memories with:'). Its just that sometimes I tend to notice I waste my time. Well right now, Im just having one of those days. Always thinking about the future and past.
Things I do to make myself better.
*watch The Final Riot
*listen to Colbie Cailat
*listen to music
*play the piano
and simply just looking at the sky.
I looked at the sky today. Then I noticed that one day it wont be there anymore.

I can feel the pressure. Its getting closer now.

Everything bundled up inside. What makes me sad, what makes me worried, what makes me angry... I promised myself I'll get my own journal for all of this crap.

Probably feeling pressured and stressed out right now.
Theres nothing else I can do to overcome it. I've just gotta wait until its over just like everyone else.

Pandu Camp's almost here. I havent got the time for anything. Choir's clashing with Pandu. So much expectation from the seniors. Knowing that everything has to go in perfect order. Canteen Day??? Yea. I just found out about that today. Then again Report Card Day. Results??? Not so good.

August: Piano Practical Exam and Theory Exam.
Now this is what Im really freaked out about. What if I'll fail like last year??? Wouldnt I waste my mom's money for sending me for lessons??
I sense DISSAPOINTMENT.
Recently I saw this girl from where I learn and I saw her crying after her lesson. Which makes me remember about what happened last year.
I dont want to go through that phase again.
All I can do now is TRY to calm down. Over EVERYTHING.

Pandu Camp
Choir States Competition
Canteen Day
Report Card Day
Practical Exam
Theory Exam

:'(

I've been watching quite a number of movies during the holidays. Nice ways to spend my time. Now that holidays are coming to an end I feel sad. I still want to do so many things.

Movie Mania=
Bounty Hunter
Prince of Persia
Nightmare on Elm Street
Dear John
Shrek 3
Toy Story 3
How To Train Your Dragon
The Losers

Some old movies that brings back memories
The Adventure of Rocky and Bullwink
Edward Scissorhands
Ps: I Love You
Napoleon Dynomite
Friday The 13th
Spaceballs
Toy Story & Toy Story 2 <3

Time passes by oh so fast:'(

Y2Y Camp

First of all FML Bloggie :'( I cant upload my pictures. Plus thats also one of the reason why my blog has been looking so dull. BORING.
Anyways Im suppose to blog about a camp I recently attended:)

Y2Y CAMP
At first I actually planned to back out because I didnt feel like going at all. Thank GOD I didnt because right now I'd think that would be stupid of me to do so.
First day of camp I was practically telling Esther how much I didnt want to be there. Being the usual negative me. Im sorry. Anyways, we were assigned into groups. I was in a group called ORANGE pronouned in an indian accent VAARANGE. Luke,Daryl,Audrey,Jassmine,Randy,Aanan aka Josiah and myself join forces to form ORANGE and JILL was our facilitator:)
At first we didnt really clicked as team mates but eventually we were really close. Like siblings as if. The second day was an emotional day especially during night time. We had this Candle Light Sharing going on. Every group went to a special place. Orange formed a circle and Jill started. Basically everyone shared and talked about something deep. I found myself talking about something I've never told anyone about. Its been inside me for a very long time. It felt really good to let it out. And the members around was very supporting. Believe or not?? We ALL cried. Yes LUKE AND AANAN too :') Cassie's Dad prayed over us and gave us advices on what we talked about. After that we went for din din. We practically had red eyes during dinner. But who cares?? We were closer :) *Audrey Im always here for you* Then we did activities and sang songs. I was actually kinda impressed with some of the songs they asked us to sing along to.

Knocking On Heavens Door by Guns And Roses
The Climb by Miley Cyrus
Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
What Dreams Are Made Of by Hillary Duff
One Love by Blue
As Long As You Love Me by Backsreet Boys
Hero by Mariah Carey
Stay The Same by Natasha Bedingfield's brother (I forgot his name)
and some other inspiring Christian songs:)

HAHAHAH I almost forgot! There was this game we played and we were blindfolded. The song The Climb was playing on repeat. Zeke sorta sing a long to this song in his own special way. As in he danced and jumped and lip-singed. And guess what?? Aunty Lavinia video taped him. We ourselves didnt know what was going on because we were blindfolded. We saw the video at the end of camp time. It was really funny. haha. Zeke.

I kinda wished a lot more of my friends came. I wished. It could have been more fun.
OWH YEAAAH The place we stayed at reared 5 puppies. 4 Black ones and 1 Brownish one. Soooo CUTE. As usual I was saying how much I wanted a pup:')

hmmmm Judy and I slept on top (double-decker) Esther slept next door. LMAO she was talking about Elvis Presley and we could hear her. HAHA. I had a nice talking time with Judy. Talked a lot. Appreaciate it:)

That's all I guess. I mean theres a lot more to say but Im just to lazy to type it down. Well I enjoyed myself and I will ofcourse go for the next camp XD

VAAARANGE WE ARE NAMBAR WAN!

Tax-Free guy:)

Eventhough I was broke, I just went out. How could I miss watching Prince of Persia and Nightmare On Elm Street with my monkeys?? Haha.
You've gotta admit, Prince Dastan is HOT:)
The movie was worth watching. Cant wait for the sequel XD owh yah!! Haha theres this funny character on the movie and he loves his ostrichs and his people and him are TAX-FREE!!
Funny.

Nightmare On Elm Street. Freddy you freaked me out. Seriously I've never screamed twice watching a scary movie. But I havent found the 'IT' scary movie yet. Yet.
Freddy you're such a perve-.- ewww little kids?? Then when they're teens?? Lmao. That Quetin guy is HOT. Haha. Kellan Lutz died too soon:'( he didnt get enough sleep.

Well I hope I dont get nightmares:)

My Hermione Granger

Here I am, sitting down, eating a dark chocolate cookie chunk while coughing. Its been almost 3 weeks with my cough :(
Go away COUGH I dont like you!! My throat hurts!!. Anyways, B was tweeting about how cute hamsters are and I couldnt help but remember those days I had with my DEAD HAMSTERS!!

Hermione Granger was my first pet. A hamster. I used to let her loose on my Barbie doll playhouse. Yes I was addicted to Barbies.
My first pet:) well I didnt really took care of her. I just fed her and played with her while my mom bathe her and washes her cute little house. It was a yellow house with red rooftops:) CUTE. Then I remember buying this log for her to hide in. Owh owh and she had her own exercising wheel. I had her for quite some time. A present from my grandma. Fred had one too. His's one always fought with mine. It all come to an end one day when I was upstairs playing with my Barbie doll and Fred came running into the room saying ' Jie Jie!! Hermione's drowning!! Drowning!!' and I was like ???? Then I rushed downstairs and he brought me to the LONGKANG behind my house. The LONGKANG!!!! And I saw her!! I remembered carrying her up and drying her up. Then the moment I left her on the couch,I came back, she was all hard-ish. She was dead. I cried. Got Fred's explaination. He played with her behind the house and she bit him. So he dropped her and she ran into the longkang. T.T why are you such a sissy boy?? Why?? Sigh. I buried her behind my house. Waving goodbye to the soil.
Well I moved on.
Then I beg my mom for another one cuz Fred's one was still alive -.-
I got one a few months later.
This time I did all the cleaning:)
and this time I fed her a lil too much. And she died. Obesity I suppose.
Never got a pet after that.

Then STD 5, I got 9 goldfish:)
but they died. One by one. Slowly.

Am I really that bad of a owner??

Now I want a puppy. This time I plan not to kill her/him.

So when can I get one mommy??


#in loving memory of Hermione Granger. RIP.

you made me do it

I was sitting down, just right there. Thinking and smiling that very Sunday. The world revolving around me. And there, I was dreaming about nothing. Maybe even reminiscing on memories. Then I thought of We Are Broken. I started singing that song in my heart. Inspired by the lyrics, I wrote them down.